andrewquo:

sometimes when im stressed out and don’t have my ipod i’ll just call a hotline and listen to their smooth elevator jazz

twinking:

girl: deeper!!!!

boy

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gnagster:

i put the :// in http://

frankocean:

all posts after 2am and before 7am shall be forgiven.

tolazytofinishthi:

unclefather:

yaaaaas santa you look so good santa

SLEIGHH

clvbpenguin:

you just try to fucking stop me

clvbpenguin:

you just try to fucking stop me

venuspalms:

Isnt it amazing how beautiful people are. Like just look at anyone and study them and their features and how their lips tort and eyes glisten and how their hair falls or sticks or lays. How their eyebrows flex and the way their arms fold, how expressive their hands are. The way their body moves and how their chest rises and falls so subtley with their pulse. People are beautiful even if we dont find them attractive. The fact that they’re a living being is unbelievably magnificent.

miss-zarves:

i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE

holyghoul:

im just a human bean

childservices:

horoscope app: today u gonna #stunt on these hoes
me: damn….das tru

j5h:

j5h:

my dick is itchy I think i have herpes

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moonemoji:

Love triangles r so zzz.. I prefer love hexagons. Much more interesting.

wrrench:

YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN
YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY SEVENTEEN

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OH YEAH

pr1nceshawn:

Masculine Ways to Do Feminine Things by Dave Mercier.